A Personal Reflection on Skipping Mother’s Day Traditions

In my childhood home, Mother’s Day was never celebrated. Both my parents hailed from families that viewed the holiday as superficial pageantry, designed more to boost profits for florists than to genuinely honor mothers. As a result, the occasion was largely absent from our family traditions.

When I became a mother, I never felt compelled to observe the day either. The thought of competing with crowds in New York City for an overpriced brunch reservation is unappealing, and being the center of attention on such occasions tends to make me uncomfortable, much like birthdays.

Still, I appreciate the heartfelt cards my daughters create for me throughout the year. While I recognize that Mother’s Day can be difficult for those who have lost or are estranged from their mothers, I don’t believe the holiday should be discarded; many find genuine happiness in it, though it just isn’t something I personally embrace.

Interestingly, the woman who established the modern concept of Mother’s Day might sympathize with my family’s skepticism. According to historical accounts, Anna Jarvis campaigned for a national holiday in the early 1900s to honor her mother, Ann Jarvis, who dedicated her life to promoting peace, community health, and hygiene. Ann’s efforts were deeply personal, as she lost many of her children to diseases such as diphtheria and measles, common in her Appalachian Virginia community. (The resurgence of preventable diseases today would likely distress her.)

Ironically, Anna Jarvis became disenchanted with how Mother’s Day had become commercialized and later tried to have it abolished. Reports indicate she died impoverished in a sanitarium, with her expenses covered by the very greeting card companies and florists she criticized.

When I shared this story with my mother, she wasn’t surprised. She texted, “Anything that can be commercialized will ultimately be corrupted.” Our family tends to embrace only holidays like Passover and Thanksgiving, which center around gathering for a shared meal. As she humorously noted, there’s no way to glamorize Passover—no plague-themed partyware—and when it comes to Thanksgiving, “no one profits except the turkey farmers.”