Why Zombies Captivate Me Despite the Fear

While my husband sleeps soundly beside me and our children rest peacefully down the hall, free of nightmares and discomfort, I lie awake, unable to escape the vivid images of zombies and devastated cities swirling through my mind.

Since the return of the HBO series "The Last of Us," centered on a fungal infection that transforms humans into zombies and adapted from a popular video game, I have found myself restless and unsettled. Each new episode leaves me with restless nights and haunting thoughts, dreading the next Sunday when I will have to face the intense emotions the show stirs. During the 57 minutes of Season 2, Episode 2, I gripped my husband and the large cushion on our couch tightly, frequently uttering exclamations of shock and disbelief.

Reflecting on the two years since I endured the first season, I realize that I must have experienced many normal moments, free from zombie-related anxiety. Yet now that the series has resumed, I struggle to comprehend how I managed to live without this looming dread. If you see me this spring—cheering at my son’s baseball game or engaging in casual conversations at social gatherings—know that beneath the surface, I am barely keeping my composure.

Many have asked me why I don’t simply stop watching the show. Friends, family, and even a waitress who recently had to explain a mushroom dish to me have all posed this question. It’s a valid inquiry, and one I have pondered frequently since mid-April. Why is a 40-year-old woman, whose other interests include dissecting Taylor Swift’s lyrics and shopping for athleisure, so captivated by a series that clearly causes her distress?

I have reluctantly come to see that the discomfort may be precisely the reason I’m drawn to it. There is no better escape from current troubles than immersing oneself in something far grimmer. At a time when I need distraction, the bleak world of the zombie apocalypse offers an effective, if unsettling, refuge.

When my thoughts focus on the possibility of a zombie outbreak, I am not simultaneously consumed by the many real-life crises unfolding in 2025. My mind cannot hold both realities at once. So, while I admire those working tirelessly to address the pressing issues of our world, I find myself choosing zombies as my temporary escape.