Lauren Southern’s Struggle with the Tradwife Ideal Exposes Harsh Realities

Lauren Southern gained prominence as a right-wing internet personality during the early years of Donald Trump’s presidency. She first captured widespread attention in 2015 with a viral video titled “Why I Am Not a Feminist,” where the then 19-year-old blond influencer argued that women benefit in several areas, including child custody and escaping abusive relationships. Southern claimed that feminism inadvertently fosters a form of reverse sexism that she wished to distance herself from.

However, Southern’s memoir, titled "This Is Not Real Life," chronicles the painful contradictions between conservative ideology and lived experience. The book has drawn attention for her allegation that Andrew Tate, a notorious online misogynist facing serious accusations, sexually assaulted her in Romania in 2018—an allegation Tate denies. More broadly, the memoir exposes Southern’s harrowing attempts to conform to the traditional housewife role, a pursuit that brought her to the brink of despair. Her story serves as a stark warning to young women who idealize this domestic lifestyle.

While a few women held prominent positions in the Trump administration, there is a growing effort within right-wing circles to push women out of the public sphere. This movement is fueled not only by outspoken male figures within the Republican Party but also by female voices promoting housewifery as the epitome of well-being—portraying it as a refuge from the exhausting demands of professional life. For instance, conservative podcast host Alex Clark urged audiences to embrace “less burnout, more babies, less feminism, more femininity” during a recent conference, despite being unmarried and childless herself.

This Instagram-driven version of traditionalism is gaining momentum at a time when workplaces are becoming increasingly inhospitable to women. Recent reports show that many mothers have exited the workforce amid return-to-office mandates and backlash against diversity initiatives, which have created hostile environments. Some women say they are leaving jobs willingly, aligning their choices with the cultural rise of the “traditional wife” ideal.

Southern had particular motivation to embrace domesticity after her antifeminist video catapulted her to international notoriety. She traveled extensively as a provocateur of online conservative reaction, distributing controversial flyers in Muslim neighborhoods in England, advancing conspiracy theories about white genocide in South Africa, and interviewing reactionary Russian philosopher Alexander Dugin during a trip to Moscow allegedly connected to covert Russian interests.